Fitness Camp.... Fit or Fail?

Day 1

So…. Obviously I leave for Terminal 5 hungover as hell and starving for carbs to soak up last night’s excesses… why before you start on any programme does it always mean you have to have a binge on the eve of it?  It makes no sense…but we all do it… well us two ELFs do anyway!   A former personal trainer of mine used to regale me with stories of his clients who were on the larger size and could hardly move and in anticipation of him starting a gentle walk with them on a Tuesday would shovel in a Mars, Twix, Bounty .. you name it they stuffed it in… on the Monday, as they knew he would ban those treats on Tuesday… as he liked to point out they had just wiped out the first three weeks of his work almost as they could hardly move already so to burn off that many calories would take a good few sessions.. anyway I digress…. Yes I merrily drank and ate my way through a delightful evening before heading down the M4 only to discover that my plane was leaving from Terminal 3… Disaster averted with a quick swerve of the motorway and a phonecall to the very helpful meet and greet parking attendants!  

So then to the terminal… and this is where the story takes a very different turn to the one I had planned… I started this journey thinking about what a failure I had been over the past few months, this was my chance to put it all right and start again and really try and put a dent into the 12in12 2022 challenge numbers… then I bumped into P, I used to work with P and him and his beautiful wife used to come to charity balls that I organised and were often seen in the RE at Ascot and every glamorous occasion known to the upper crust… they cut a dashing figure as they were both immaculately dressed, attractive, always had a broad smile and a funny line!  This life is cruel.  P’s wife has now been struck with an incurable brain tumour and is wheelchair bound with no ability to laugh like she used to. He has given up work to care for her and still adores her like he always has.  They were, and still are a gorgeous couple but just in a different way… 

So I sat in the lounge with a black coffee, porridge and fresh fruit and rather than feeling “poor me” look what I have to go through in order to achieve my goals I felt how lucky I was to have the choice still available to me to eat and drink what I wanted, to move about, to laugh, to cry, to live…   

So this week and this fitness camp is going to be dedicated to what a privilege life is and what a privilege it is for me to be able to make these choices…. I am going to try and relish the pain and the sacrifice as a privilege … I am not saying I won’t moan and bemoan my circumstances at times, but on the whole my mindset has totally changed and this is maybe what I needed… let’s see what the next few hours and days hold for me…..

I felt rather discombobulated when I first arrived as I have been overwhelmed in recent months with  pain and a constant worry over exercise and movement.  This coupled with a self destructive desire to eat and drink everything in sight at every opportunity has created the body that I now find myself in.  Suddenly it wasn’t me that was going to have to make the decisions, it was out of my control which actually meant that it was in control and I felt weirdly in control from being out of control if that makes any sense!

The exercise started gently with a wonderful yoga session on the roof of the house with the sun peeking through some boat sails that adorn the roof.  Idyllic is an overused word but just best describes my current location.  The supper was delicious but tiny in comparison to my usual intake.  It was sufficient, I didn’t feel hungry but certainly didn’t feel anywhere near full.  A zero calorie tonic water loaded with ice and lime fooled me into thinking I was enjoying a cocktail!  Whilst the food is not plentiful the company is bountiful.  I have the pleasure of the company of 6 incredibly funny, driven women whose first response is to laugh and then ask questions later.. what more do you need when restricting and pushing yourself…?

I slept fairly well and awoke in time for the morning exercise…

Day 2

A wonderful movement class started the day with a new breathing technique that involved not breathing in for as long as you could resist after exhaling and then only breathing through your nose whilst moving different parts of your body, a little complicated to explain but the carbon dioxide build up is supposed to increase your fitness and health… new to me and genuinely interesting…

Juice, protein ball and coffee.. perfect combo.. no detox here just plain and simple language that us ELFs understand, calories out must exceed calories in to achieve weight loss… 

Onto the gym.. a HITT class… I feel like this retreat has been designed for me and me alone.. I love everything about it…. The HITT class was the perfect combination of tough exercise but was so broad in range as well as interesting and clever in timings that you just breezed through it and it was over before it began… 

Onto breakfast.. I did get a smaller portion than everyone else but it was sufficient … and delicious.. sufficient eating is a concept that I need to embrace going forward… basically once you have had sufficient then you stop.. there is no need for this disgusting display of overeating that I normally indulge in… what triggers it… boredom, competitiveness, greed, hangovers… and I could go on but I have to be mindful, grateful and exert stronger will power…

Beach, beach let’s go to the beach… and we did for the third work out of the day.. a mat based core training session with the occasional shuffle to the water (I still can’t run thanks to my trapped nerves!)  This was hard but with it broken up into timed on and offs (45 seconds on 15 seconds off) and further combinations depending on the exercise again it felt like it was over before it began with each exercise but the cumulation produced the results… then to the beach club for a diet coke and a hike up the hill home, 6,000 steps later and it was lunchtime… and 3pm!  

Lunch was simple but so deliciously created followed by a coffee with fake sugar and another protein ball… they need to keep coming… really satisfying… I am glad that someone else is controlling the quantity though as I wouldn’t be able to resist at home…. They are quite calorific but “good” calories…. 

Leg massage and then onto Yoga… then supper then chat then bed… a perfect day… 

I can’t tell you the slightly euphoric feeling my body is going through at the moment with being healthy again.. I have put it through hell the past few months with my injury, lack of exercise and terrible eating and drinking… I have put on the best part of a stone in the past 6 months since my injury started… I feel much stronger already even after one day and this has given me the confidence to exercise again and just listen to my body.. I feel stronger already, it is like something is waking up inside me again… it is brilliant.. the restrictive eating is almost a relief after the bingeing and drinking I have been doing…

Day 3

Get me… didn’t sleep that well but shunned the 137 calorie protein ball as didn’t feel I needed it and also it had cinnamon in it so I wouldn’t have enjoyed it… normally I would have shown off in front of people and eaten two just to show I can.. didn’t feel the need to be the over indulger in this group.. felt comfortable enough to be myself and do what I wanted and what is best for me… interesting dynamic… need to think of that when at home and making choices.. why do certain people trigger a response in me that leads to terrible behaviour repeated time and time again that is self destructive and the antithesis of what I really want to be…  weirdly the people here are not all trying to lose weight they are happy with their weight and just want to get fitter and healthier - maybe those are the kinds of people I should be around.. maybe the weight loss element of other people’s desires makes me want to show off and prove I am better than them by eating whatever I want… or am I just greedy…?

My natural instinct to eat as much as possible if not restricted has not left me.. we had a “free dinner” ie the food was put on platters and we were left to our own devices as to how much we took.. needless to say I took twice as much as the trainers said they would have let me have if they had been controlling it…  do I feel disappointed in myself.. not really as it was all healthy and fresh and not particularly calorific… does it mean I have a long way to go.. yes but Rome wasn’t built etc….  All in all this fitness retreat has been so well balanced so far with enough aerobic exercise to warrant a sensible amount of food that does not leave you uncomfortable at all… a very novel approach but very successful.. I have been to many retreats and this one is by far the most comfortable so far in both approach and facilities… we will see the results when I return home…

Day 4

Well with all restrictive plans the euphoria wears off and the fatigue and hunger kick in at some stage.. today was that stage.. I felt tired, kept yawning, cross (read Hangry!) and a little bit underwhelmed and fatigued…. Fatigued with the exercise, lack of food and the general haphazardness that has been a little bit apparent this week as it is the soft opening trial week for this resort… everyone commented on how much my stomach had disappeared .. literally everyone on about 4 different occasions.. this is very good news…. Even to leave here with one significant change in appearance would mean it was all worth while… exercised well and often today but with no enthusiasm to start but enjoyed it when actually doing it…

This evening the director gave one of the most incredible, inspiring lectures I have ever heard… it was 9 minutes and 35 seconds that will resonate with me for a long time.. the basic premise is that if you made exercise into a pill everyone would take it every day.. the fact that it improves all areas of health, both physical and mental, the fact that it improves your looks and your wellbeing and is a life lengthening activity is the elixir we all dream of…. So why not do it everyday?  Find an exercise that you love or even like and just do that ..it doesn’t matter what it is…do it for yourself though, not for others as the people that love you do not care what you look like, they want you to be happy and healthy, but if you do exercise you will look better, but don’t try to attain perfection as it is not true.. no picture is actually true, it is the best version of that moment but is not what that image will look like the next day or the next week… just be happy with what you have and exercise for half an hour every day in some way shape or form that makes you happy and the rest will all slot into place…. Now to put that into action!!

Day 5

Energy is back and life is good… went shopping  (walked two miles to the shops!) during a break in the exercise but felt too large to buy anything in the bikini shop and so bought a baggy jumper… I think that sums it up really but at least I am exercising and doing something about it by being at a fitness camp… It is the last day today and the enthusiasm for exercise wanes during the day after a very long walk in the sunshine up hills.. we all cancel Yoga and end up having a cocktail by the pool… 

I only had a small glass of rosé which is a miracle.. the fact of the matter is they had run out of rosé (or so they said!!) otherwise I would have had at least another glass or two…  so maybe that is the key.. put barriers in the way of bad behaviours.. I once listened to a very inspiring podcast advocating just that… if you make good behaviours easy ie have chopped fruit available in the fridge, find a fun class that you enjoy, arrange to walk with friends to chat and bad behaviours more difficult ie the wine is not in the fridge and needs you to drive to get some OR you arrange to drive to the party or drive a child later in the evening so you can only have one glass then maybe you can almost stop yourself… it does work for me!  

It all goes back once again to knowing yourself and knowing what is going to be a barrier for you and what is going to be an enjoyable easy path… maybe make note of times when you have been good and work out if it was a barrier rather than a conscious choice and add this in whenever you can!  It won’t always work but with the 12in12 Challenge you only need to make a few small tweaks in order to achieve your goals..

Day 6 

Got to the airport and sadly did let loose a little bit on the sandwich front.. they were free!  All in all though came away from the fitness retreat feeling a little lighter, a lot fitter, more confident about my abilities given my injury and a whole lot happier having laughed a lot over the five days…. Can’t wait to go back….

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