153.9 was the goal for October 9th… cough, splutter, retch… yes excuse me whilst I just have every reaction to that as I couldn’t be further from that goal if I tried… 161.3lbs is my current weight …. balancing rather too steadily in the 11 stone sphere…. So another 2lbs gained from an already stratospheric total in September… let’s not forget I started this journey in January to lose 12lbs at 155lbs and I should have been 150lbs right now…. The sentiment of eating WIWWIW (What I Want When I Want) in September was powerful for me, in the sense that I stopped eating to please others. But what ended up happening was I just lost control and ate and drank everything everywhere!
The self loathing right now is truly at a height that it has never reached before…. I am that girl who never cared about her good side for a photo or even what photo was put up in any forum as I didn’t care. But now I do .. I really do and the reason being, I look fat, frumpy and OLD in all of them… the simple fact is I am fat, frumpy and OLD and the only way to reverse any of that is by changing my lifestyle…. So I have hit the nuclear button and jumped on a plane to Switzerland to spend the next week depriving myself of every ounce of fat and excess and every drop of the ten bottles of red wine I would have consumed in the week if I had not gone….
I am fully aware that this is spoilt and privileged and not accessible for the vast majority of the population but I have worked hard and earned every Swiss Franc that is being hurled at these lovely people in order to teach me how to be in control again… and boy are they in control…
After the tough week I am determined to continue the good work at home.. I have finally started identifying the main things that I will have to continue in order to keep the weight I lose here off and to keep going further… what I should have implemented before I needed to go to Switzerland and reboot…
Firstly portion size… I overeat..there I have said it… I need to halve my portion size if not quarter.. well I will settle for a third! I have really noticed here that even if I am really hungry it doesn’t need a lot of food to satiate that hunger.. I really do need to put tiny bits on my plate and just see how I feel having given my stomach a chance to realise it is full or has had enough anyway.. I need to stop acting as if I live not knowing where the next meal is coming from… I have enough food in my fridge and larder to last three months!
Snacking… just NO! Eat meals and just meals….
Alcohol… this will probably need even more willpower than the portion size… a couple of glasses of red wine is the limit.. 4 nights a week no alcohol, 2 nights a week one glass of red wine, 1 night a week 2 glasses….
Gluten is gone… I am no longer going to eat Gluten.. for two reasons… it will stop me binging on bread and pies and also I don’t react well to Gluten so why would I fill my body with it?
Food and Exercise Diaries - keeping track always makes me accountable and also means at the end of the day when I have hit the maximum the fridge door shuts.. for me it will be 1390 calories.
Intermittent fasting.. the benefits of this cannot be overstated… for me it’s twofold stopping me having so long to eat in a day… but also giving the body a chance to eat all its badness otherwise known as Autophaga! Get me with the Greek Scientific lingo!! However it has been proved over and over again that unless you actually restrict calories just packing them into 8 hours rather than 24 does not mean you will lose weight … so you have to actually lose that extra meal rather than cram three into 8 hours as I have often done! It is still back to the old calories in calories out no matter what time of day you eat!
Look at what I have at home.. what tools and what aids.. I have accumulated loads over the years.. I need to look at them… I have a whole drawer full of vitamins and supplements and special drinks… I have all sorts of gadgets that I have accumulated over the years to prod and poke my fat and cellulite .. I have every cream and potion to eliminate toxins and brush away bumps and potholes!! I have a pair of trainers, I have a mat, I have wifi.. This should be all I need to continue the good work!
So can I keep it going… before my next weigh in I will have had 3 weeks at home to try and keep the good work going…. I arrived at the Health Farm weighing 161.7lbs so I am setting a new goal of 153.7lbs for when I leave here and then a further goal of 151lbs by Nov 9th! 5lbs off side from where I hoped to be but… Blimey…. Back in the 10 stone range….no idea what that will feel like… keep everything crossed for me please… I need so much willpower and motivation… where is my E.L.F. Buddy.. she can help me?!
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